Wednesday 9 July 2014

Modern Family

Photo: Alphabet Journal (order yours here: limited copies available)
Here's the thing about family,

I don't really have one.

I am not married,

I have no children,

and my immediate family is just mum, dad and me.

The three of us. That's all it has ever been.

I look at larger families in envy. I look at all their cousins and second cousins and fourth cousins twice removed and I get jealous of the large support network they have

In fact, anyone who has a sibling I envy.

Now don't get me wrong, I love being an only child. While I don't really know better, I know my situation has its perks and I know I shouldn't complain when there are those with no parents and no siblings. I am, indeed, very lucky.

But that's the thing. I feel like family is becoming what you make it.
There is no perfect definition of what a family is anymore, and because of that I have realised that this 'family' I thought never existed, actually does.

Over the years, I have adopted Stephen's family as my own. I grow more and more in love with them everyday and it's so nice to call his sisters my sisters and his parents my parents (plus his yiayia makes great food!)

I have also created an online family, a collection of friends and bloggers who I can rely on and communicate with to vent and talk to. And while I may have more closer online friends than I do in real life (don't judge me) I feel proud to have them as a part of my life.

Family may just be is my first priority.

One day, I hope to be a wife and a mother and an aunt and a godmother, but for now I have this family I have created for myself. They may not all share the same blood or chin shape as me but they are family. No one can dispute that.

I am a child of God,
A daughter of two loving parents,
A partner of an amazing man,
And an un-biological sister to many,
and that makes me so happy,
and makes me feel so blessed.

Who does your family consist of?


  1. i couldn't agree more, my beautiful blogging sister! ;) family is what you make it and i love mine.

    “there are the families that we are born into, and there are the families that we choose, our circle of friends. while their faces may change over the course of our lives, the joy they bring us remains constant.”

  2. Yup! I feel a bit closer with my in-laws than I do with my biological family. My family is a bit dysfunctional, but there are no hard feelings. I just became so impressed with my husband's family, and I soon became very grateful for them.

    Btw! My maternity photos were taken in White Sands National Park in southern New Mexico. My all time favorite spot for photos.

  3. I know exactly what you are talking about, Well, my family consists of 4, but my older sis akready started her own family, so I feel a hit abandoned by her. My parents are divorced, so that piece of heaven was taken from me as well. I am really focused on starting my own life, we will see how it goes :)

    1. I think if we rely on others to live our lives for us, we will constantly be disappointed. Living our own lives is definitely the aim.

  4. This is lovely. Family is definitely what you make it. The nuclear family idea sounds great, but the reality is that so few people have it that simple. Families, no matter what they are comprised of, are almost always much more complicated than that nowadays, but that can be kind of nice I think! At least we can all relate to that idea.

    I am one of five kids and my parents are still together, so I've always had a million people around me all the time, which has lots of benefits but also some negatives thrown in there. Nevertheless, I feel grateful for my many siblings and the extended family that will come along with it as we all get older. We have plenty of our own dysfunction, though, and especially having moved overseas I am having to create my own immediate family over here which at the moment only consists of my partner... ! It has been interesting going from being surrounded by people to literally just having the two of us with zero support network and all of our loved ones literally a day ahead of us, but there are definitely lessons to learn in that and it has been a change that I can already feel myself growing from. It's nice that you have been able to adopt Stephen's family as your own. Especially if they make good food ;) It is definitely possible to be an un-biological sister, auntie, friend to many. What's blood when it comes to love, anyway!

    1. Love this. Thank you for your thoughtful comment. You're so lucky to be surrounded with such wonderful people who love you. Being surrounded by love is the best place to be

  5. Love the photo. And such truth in this post. Families come in many shapes and sizes. I have friends that are totally apart of my family. :)

  6. I love this post so much, I can so relate.. while I do have siblings, and a lot of family, I feel like it's beyond that because I have so many people that I feel are family even though they're not, technically. And you're so not alone about having closer friends online than in person, I'm right there with ya. And it's an amazing blessing

  7. I love this. I'm a part of one of those huge dysfunctional families, with a whopping 14 brothers and sisters including step. I loved growing up with my siblings and unfortunately missed out on a lot with the ones who live a few hours away. Later I lived with my grandparents and became an only child for the first time, and while I loved it, there is still that bond with siblings that is unconditional. Having a bigger family wasn't always easy but I couldn't change it if I had the choice now. Family definitely has a new meaning and I agree, shouldn't be so easily defined. Among my huge family, there were times that I had no one and that's when your idea of family expands, and you find someone who becomes your best friend and family before they're even a part of it. For me it was Geoffrey. Thank you for the insightful read!

    1. and now you have started your own family. Just you and your husband, with children to come I'm sure. What an amazing circle we run.

  8. There is something really great about defining family for yourself and finding the people who mean that much to you. I feel like are family can be so many different things to us.
    I mean, my mum is my best friend as well as the person who takes care of me. And you know those old friends that come over and you can nap while they are visiting because neither of you care and they feed themselves at your house without asking. And you can hang out with their parents and it isn't weird haha.

    And of course, our blogging family. I would be more than happy to adopt you as my sister :P xx

  9. I miss my family dearly. I feel the distance from my parents and cousins and aunts and sadness that I no longer have grandparents. I love my daughter and husband with all my heart and hope dearly we can be closer than I am to mine xo Thank you for finally inspiring me to buy Alphabet too!

  10. Ah, yes. I agree entirely.

    Although, I grew up in a large family so I don't really know what it is like to be an only child, just like what you don't know what it's really like having siblings. But you're, they both have their perks and to be honest, when I'm older and ready to start a family, I would love to have a great big family to call my own.

  11. Oh I love this so much. Family is indeed made up of more than flesh and blood. It's a connection of spirits and minds and you can definitely have that with people who aren't technically related.

  12. Beautifully written, Samantha! My family is pretty close (or at least I like to think so), but I agree that family is what you make it. Family requires time and energy and dedication--not just blood and genetics. You are definitely creating a wonderful family by writing a post like this and it's not just in your online but offline, too. :)

  13. I have six siblings, two parents, 4 in laws, one niece, two nephews, lots of cousins, and a grandma and grandpa!


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