So this is it
2014 is about to switch it's OPEN sign to CLOSED and then the new year will be upon us.
I've only just sat down to reflect on the year that was and I think that is a testament for what kind of year I've had.
2014 was busy. I feel like I was always doing something or going somewhere. I got my license, I travelled overseas, I went vegetarian for a month, I made so many new friends and connections, I shot my first wedding, engagement and fashion shoot, I fell deeper in love, I found independence, I found passion and I found life.
2014 is going to be a hard one to beat. I felt so much and I achieved things I didn't think I could and for the first time, in a long time, I felt fulfilled. Fulfilment is an interesting concept. I think many people assume happiness is a cause of fulfilment but I think it is more a symptom than a cause. I've been sad this year, really sad. I've been depressed and anxious and battled many demons. I've opened up on this blogosphere and I've shared my thoughts and fears. I've shared my love and my happiness, I've expressed silent thoughts from my mind and I've made myself vulnerable, but through it all I've felt this strange feeling of satisfaction, something I'm not used to feeling. Even greater is I've had you to share it all with. You have all made this journey so grand. I never thought I would connect with you in the way I have and it makes my heart happy to know I have friends, real friends, all over the world. So for that, I thank you.
But what does 2015 have in store for me? It's a little fuzzy to be honest. For the first time I have no solid plan or structure. I'm going in blind but strangely that excites me. I want to do things differently next year. I don't want specific resolutions to lose 5 kilos, or quit my job, or travel to Asia or find another best friend. I want something bigger than that. A lot of 2014 was spent in fear, and while I achieved many great things this year, I also stopped myself from so much based on the fear that was wrapped around my body.
So for next year and all the new years to follow my resolution is this:
To live more and to fear less
It sounds pretty corny, I know. Perhaps this would work better on a Pinterest pin or an Instagram caption but it's these kind of vague resolutions I know I can achieve. It means that I can put on 10 kilos if I wanted to, or stay in the country or keep my job or be boring and average and not feel guilty. It means I don't have to put pressure on myself to be someone I'm not or to push myself to achieve more than I am physically capable of. It just means I can live how I want to live and I can give myself permission to do so, and frankly I think that is enough.
Oh 2015, I'm ready for you. Let's hold hands and get through this together.
Are you with me?